This week’s post comes from my very kind friend Emmy…

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Kindness.

Kindness. At some point in our lives most of us were taught that we need to be kind to those around us, and maybe we would argue that most of the time we stay true to this expectation. Oh, well I always let one car (and some days even two!) in front of me as they merge onto the 405 during rush hour traffic. I bought my friend a drink when she forgot her wallet at home. I try to be encouraging when my friends are feeling down. So, if it’s a reasonable argument that I’m a pretty nice person most of the time,

What’s the big deal with kindness?

Why is it a fruit of the Spirit?

Although the above examples are all nice things to do, I invite you to consider that there is a depth to kindness that extends beyond niceness. Nice denotes being agreeable, likeable, and good-natured, while kindness is connected to tender-heartedness, generosity, and friendliness. Do you see the subtle difference here? Being nice is in the surface level of relationships, but I would argue that true kindness requires us to draw from the depths of our heart. Now, in a world where everything is going our way, every person understands and loves us, and we likewise perfectly connect with those around us, kindness seems like a simple virtue to live out.

However, you and I both know that our communal and personal worlds are often far from that picture of reality. Our relationships and lives are messy. Very messy. He broke his word and caused me pain. She ditched me for them, even after she promised she wouldn’t. They weren’t there when I needed them to be. If we’re honest, our heart’s first inclination is the farthest thing from kind or love when we’ve been wronged, disappointed, or hurt. How could they do that? What kind of person would say that? All of a sudden, that “kind” heart isn’t so kind. Kindness and love seem unfulfilling, illogical, and counterintuitive in the midst of these moments and the heavy feelings they surface.

So, what’s the big deal with kindness?

The Christian call to kindness, as a manifestation of God’s love (1 Corinthians 13:4), extends to all people, even if they have wronged, disappointed, or hurt us. In the Sermon on the Mount (check out Matthew 5:43-48), Jesus says that anyone can love someone who loves them back, but then challenges his audience by saying that living out his love also means loving our enemies. Jesus argues that as his disciples we are to love those who are against us, those who have caused us pain, those who have wounded us. How can we show kindness that isn’t just an act or facade but is truly kindness from love?

In the midst of our pain, this is a tough calling.

But, our Lord has not left us alone in living out this call.

Not only did Jesus show the ultimate act of love to humanity by suffering on the cross and experience the pain that comes with sacrificial love, but He also didn’t leave us to fend for ourselves in this world.  Jesus graciously sent the Holy Spirit to live within us as our counselor, comforter, and helper. As we lean into the Spirit and pursue God’s love, the Lord will transform our hearts and the once hard ground of our hearts will become the soil where He grows His fruit in our lives. The ground of our hearts will continually need to be tilled, worked, watered, and weeded, but He is faithful to bring life that bears fruit. Kindness will grow in us as a manifestation of HIS goodness and love at work in us.

May He do a miraculous work in our hearts and cause the fruit of the Spirit to be abundant within us as a witness of His redemptive love in our lives and for His glory.

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Emmy Emminizer is a free spirit at heart who is passionate about deep friendships, building community, mentoring, disengaging apathy, and learning what is means to be a disciple of Jesus. You could often find her enjoying the sunshine on a trail run or at the beach, grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend, or curled up on the couch reading a good book. She is a RN and grad student at Princeton Theological Seminary.

This week’s post comes from my sensational friend Lisa. Can’t wait for you to read it!

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goodness

noun good·ness \ˈgu̇d-nəs\

The quality or state of being good

The nutritious, flavorful or beneficial part of something

When my dear friend Sarah asked me to write this guest blog post, I was both honored and slightly terrified. I enjoy writing and used to do so regularly, be it in my journal or college papers (the later being much less enjoyable). But now, it feels like it’s been ages since I’ve written anything more than a couple notes during a sermon or a shopping list for Target (and let’s be honest – who ever sticks to their list while shopping at Target?!). But when God presents an opportunity today, I try to do my best to say yes. The more uncomfortable it makes me feel, the more I probably need to do it. So, it’s time to dust off the old laptop and share some humble thoughts on goodness as a fruit of the spirit.

When I first hear the word goodness, thoughts of performance come to mind. I love “being good” and doing “good things”, and spent much of my life trying to live up to my own standards of what this meant. Whether it was trying to be a good daughter, sister, student, teammate, friend, or Christian – I wanted to be a good one. In doing so, I did many things that I thought would make me a good person…I went to church multiple times a week, always did my homework and showed up to sports practice, served in a church ministry, and hung out with the “right” friends. In college I went on several overseas mission trips, was active in student life and all in all did all the “right” things, trying hard to never break rules and be seen as “bad”.

However now, looking back after what seems like a lifetime of experiences these last few years, I can see that although I certainly did those things with God’s love in mind, I know that deep down there were a couple hidden beliefs. So long as I keep being a good person: 1) others would see me in a good light and I would earn their love and praise and 2) God would surely love me – which at the time, meant that He would protect me from unbearable pain and harm.

Wasn’t God proud of all the things I was doing for Him? Surely that is why He loves me, because of MY goodness. And because of this, God was good to me. Faulty theology that it was, I unknowingly carried this with me through my teenage and early adulthood years before events happened that made me question everything.

Towards the end of my senior year in college (APU shout out!), this belief slowly began to crumble. Suddenly, I felt the choices I was making in my life weren’t fitting so neatly into my tidy little “good” box. If I wasn’t good, I had to be bad…and if I was bad, would God still love me? As a couple more years unfolded, my faulty perception of God (and myself) started crumbling even quicker than I could keep up with, and before I knew it I was in an avalanche of doubt, confusion, anger and pain. Within a year or so my older brother died of an overdose, my battle with depression intensified and I was starting to numb myself dangerously with alcohol. Where was God now? How could I believe that He loved me…I was so far away from doing any kind of good deeds, and a heartbreaking tragedy had just turned my life completely upside down.

I was hurt, I believed I hurt God, and when I looked around, there was no goodness to be found.

Coming out of this spiritual desert of shame and doubt didn’t happen overnight. I had to stop labeling things as strictly good or bad, black or white. Polarized thinking like this limits the love and grace of a big, big God. What if there’s a gray area that I overlook when trying so hard to perform my way into being a good person? God doesn’t see me as simply good or bad. He sees me as HIS. There is grace in the gray area.

The past few years have been those of healing…and pain, and still yet more healing. I know now more about what real goodness is, but also what it is not. It’s not performing holy deeds to boost my moral character. It’s not being an A+ student, an upstanding employee, or a church member with perfect attendance. I have also learned that proof of God’s goodness is not measured by what He allows to happen in my life.

Goodness is God. God IS goodness. He can’t be anything but good – and I can’t do any good without Him. If I do something kind with any kind of selfish motivation behind it, this isn’t the pure form of goodness that comes from Christ.

A fruit of the spirit is a positive quality that comes as a byproduct from intimately seeking a loving God. To this extent, as I strive towards knowing God, goodness will flow from Him into me. And this isn’t the gold medal, employee of the month, homecoming queen kind of good – this is the real, unconditionally loving, truth-telling, and self-sacrificing kind of goodness.

For me today, knowing and loving God looks a lot like being in service to others, and it is the goodness of God that inspires me to do so. When I spend time allowing God to fill up my life through spiritual disciplines such as prayer and studying His word, His Spirit enters my life in a way that beckons me to give it away to others. This can look like so many things…such as taking that 3am call from a friend who is in a particularly painful season, sitting with someone as they nervously shake during their first self-help meeting or simply smiling and saying “hello” to a stranger we pass on the street, just so they know that they are seen.

We can’t muster up this kind of self-sacrificing goodness ourselves (trust me, I’ve tried)…it has to come from the source of all Goodness – Christ Himself. And He is always willing to give – and that, is good.

Lisa is an APU graduate and currently resides Rocklin, her hometown in Northern CA. She is passionate about her work in the mental health field, will eat almost anything as long as there is peanut butter on it, and can put up a fierce debate about why cats are better than dogs. She is a big believer in the healing power of vulnerability – and the community that can be found by allowing others to see us as the beautiful messes that we are.