“Wait on the Lord. Be strong and take heart, and wait on the Lord.” [psalm 27:14]
I don’t have to look up that verse to quote it here, because it’s been the focus of my whole inner dialogue for the past two weeks. and let me just say, this has been THE most challenging ordeal for me!! I am a self-professed control freak, and I am well aware of how that negatively influences so much of my life and my relationship with God, and have really been working to focus on giving God the reins in my life and trusting Him with all of it. So, of course, this couldn’t be an easy, simple, personal thing. No, no, no. Through the course of several weeks, came to realize that I had to really put myself out there and be honest and vulnerable with a relationship in my life, and that was fine, but then I had to wait. and over that time, every person who poured into my life had the SAME thing to say, “Sarah, you can’t control this, and even if you could, you wouldn’t be happy to, you have to just sit back and let God work and see what happens without you manipulating it.”
Ugh. I HATE hearing that I can’t DO anything in a situation. And boy, did I fight it. I tried every justification I could think of, every way that I could twist the situation in my head to make it seem like it demanded some kind of response from me, and finally fell at God’s feet on Sunday and just admitted that I can’t do it and that I’m sorry for trying and that I WOULD just sit back and let Him control it. And it did feel good to give it over to Him and to feel like that responsibility was off my shoulders. And how that has already been blessed so clearly.
The waiting process is never easy, and really, if it were, it wouldn’t be as valuable. So I hope this is an encouragement to those of you facing this. Know that God’s plans are not our plans, His are better. His thought are not our thoughts, His are purer. His power is not our power, his is infinitely vaster. And thankfully, His love is not our love, His is always greater. And I am SO thankful for that.
…strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord…